This past weekend has been a weekend of reflection. As many of you (may or may not) know, I have been in show choir for the past three years. This last weekend I went to my final competition and unofficially ended my show choir career. Granted I have one(possible two) more performances, but for all intents and purposes, my show choir days are done.
I’ve spent the last three years doing this with my closest friends, yet when I found myself smiling and waving at the judges for the last time I couldn’t muster up any sadness. This perplexed me for a while, but this is the conclusion I have come up with.
1) I am an independent person. I have never considered myself as a part of an “us”. In show choir this year it’s been “us”(the seniors and select others) and “them”(the girls that we can’t stand being around.) Outside of show choir, the “us” that is the seniors in show choir, no longer exists. I have friends outside of show choir. These friends are even the same ones as in show choir, but we operate independently of each other. We have different lives, different motives, different plans…. We operate separately of each other. We don’t even go to lunch together. I get really offended when certain people come up to me and say “What are we doing?” ummm…. well this is what I’m doing. You can do whatever you want to do. This is a free country. And even if we, coincidentally, are doing the same thing, I don’t necessarily want to do whatever it is WITH you. Sorry, no cake.
2) Show choir is not my passion. My passion is God and His plan for my life. My passion is worship. My passion is complete and total abandon. My passion is resting in my savior’s arms. When I grow up, I want to be a worship leader. Not a show choir girl, not a pop star, not a politician, not even a wonderful nurse. I may or may not be those things in the years to come, but that’s not what I’m passionate about. I’m passionate about worship. And more importantly, leading others in worship.
Therefore, I’m not sad about the ending of this certain chapter in my life…. Because I know that where I’m going is one step closer to fulfilling my dream. One step closer to doing the things that I’m passionate about. How can I look behind me when the future is so exciting?
Yes, I will miss show choir. But I refuse to dwell in it. I’m going for the bigger YES. I’m headed for the brighter day. I can’t wait!