English Majors

My biggest problem with English Majors is this: They get all these grand ideas and then they write books about them. Full of science and philosophy and ideals and politics and etc….. And everyone thinks it’s great and true and all this…

But English majors learn how to write well and write persuasively. They’re taught how to lie to you. And the highest their political, economical, scientific education goes is high school and college gen eds.

With my fancy words I can convince you that Naziism is the best thing ever(I did in fact do this in my English class), but that doesn’t mean that it’s true.

Honestly, I’m just as qualified to tell you what is true as an English major is. Sorry all you English majors out there, but stop pretending you’ve divined the nature of the universe, and please stop taking advantage of the people who haven’t been taught to think independently.

ALSO! English teachers are such hypocrites! They’re English majors and they do all the things I mentioned earlier, yet they convince us we’re thinking independently when we think the same thing as everyone else. Breaking out of your own thought and into what everyone else is thinking is the opposite of independent thought. Students don’t learn how to think in English class, they learn how to blindly follow all the liberals who whip their brainless shit into the world through the written word because they can’t learn a real trade.

DISCLAIMER: I have a lot of relations who are English majors and they have shown me that my generalization is just that: a generalization. If you are an English major, I am not necessarily calling you stupid. I’m only calling you stupid if you disregard science and don’t believe in absolute truth.

ALSO I gave up swearing for lent. It’s not going so well for me.

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One Response to English Majors

  1. bekahcubed says:

    Enjoying your postscripts. ‘Tis true that the English major itself doesn’t mean they have something useful to say–but if they do have something worthwhile to say, the English major might help them say it better. So…I don’t have a point.

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