I have dropped off the face of the planet. I sincerely apologize. A lot has changed since I last posted. I moved out of my parent’s house and am living in a house. I pay rent now. I grocery shop. I cook for my roommate like a good little housefriend. She cleans though. And we both think we’re getting the better end of the deal.
I was driving home from work this evening and I was really disturbed by one thing in particular. Not really a thing, but an absence of a thing.
My check engine light isn’t on.
It hasn’t been on for about a week now.
I think it must be broken.
Why is this such a big deal, you may ask? Well I’ve been in possession of my car for two and a half years and never has my car gone this long with out at least flashing the check engine light if not just flat out lighting that baby up like a firecracker. Additionally, just because my check engine light isn’t on that doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with the engine. What about that whatsamakallit that the guy who sold me the car told me was going bad and said I would have to replace eventually? Every time I’ve gone to the shop to get something fixed the mechanic has asked me if I want to fix it and I always say no after he tells me I can still drive it without the repair…. The check engine light went on for that issue literally as I drove it off the lot. Why isn’t it on for that? I haven’t fixed the problem, so what’s happened? Clearly my check engine light is broken.
But tonight as I was driving home perplexed because of the absence of problems I was struck by the idiocy of my own thoughts.
Jesus taught us to pray and ask for our daily bread. Not our monthly bread or our yearly bread… our daily bread. And what is the proper response when God gives us our daily bread? We thank Him of course. Because He has infinitely provided for us.
That means that even for the five minutes that my check engine light isn’t on I praise God. That means that while I’m frustrated because the poor drive-thru worker can’t hear what I’m saying over the noise of my engine I praise God that I have a car to take through the drive-thru. That means that even though tomorrow everything that I ever thought was safe and secure might be ripped away from me I still praise God for today. Because he has blessed me far beyond what I deserve. And God deserves more than my bad attitude as I hoard his blessing and bemoan that I have no guarantee that my worldly success is permanent. How terrible is it that I can’t enjoy the blessings of God because I’m too busy looking over my shoulder at the past and into the future saying “this isn’t going to last. it’s a trick.” Of course it isn’t going to last. It’s of this world. It’s not meant to last.
So this Thursday I’m thankful that my check engine light isn’t on.