I’ve been intending to post this for an extremely long time but some stuff has gotten in the way. Today I find myself struggling with what I should do(take a shower and go to bed) and what I want to do(stay up until the wee hours of the morning on pinterest)… As a good compromise with myself I’m finally putting down the thoughts that I’ve been simultaneously wrestling with and running from.

What is masculinity? What is femininity? What does it mean to be a man or woman?

Like I said, I’ve been thinking about this and here’s what I’ve come up with.. I know a lot of people who have views on this issue(or at least are vocal about it) aren’t believers in God…. to you people I say that I am never going to convince you of anything because of that difference. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it until I’ve breathed my last breath: Christ defines my life. I cannot even attempt to tell you what goes on in my brain without bringing the one and only true God into the picture. I would apologize for this, but I’m not sorry.

In the bible it lays out pretty well what it  means to be a man and a woman. For us female Christians we are constantly being reminded of how we should be the Proverbs 31 woman and be perfect and bla bla bla. As for men, there are a lot more verses pertaining to manhood, but I’m a bad Christian and can’t tell you where exactly you can find those…. (aside from 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5-6, The whole of Proverbs, etc.)

If I can dare to give an amateurs summation of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman it would be this:

A masculine or feminine individual is one who sees to the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of themselves and those under their care to the best of their abilities.

For example as a child I couldn’t feed myself, teach myself right from wrong, or comfort myself. Some of these needs were fulfilled by my mother and some were fulfilled by my father. As a young adult I now have primary responsibility for these things. I have been trained by my parents to see to my own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. As a result I am deciding for myself how many hours I can work and how many I can go to school. I decide my budget, I decide my job, I decide my living arrangements. I make choices for myself about my needs.

In a perfect world I am extremely feminine because I am taking care of myself to the best of my ability. I am getting to bed at a decent hour(lol no) I’m paying my bills on time(hah!) I have a job that means my income is greater than my expenses(yeah right) I take regular showers(I’m dying of laughter over here…) etc.

And yet it goes beyond that. I have a responsibility as a human being and more importantly as a Christian to set a good example for those around me. I am responsible for the impression that I give the impressionable(a.k.a. everyone.) I am responsible for misleading others when I have a lapse of judgement or character.

If I were perfectly feminine I would be above reproach.

Moving onward to the Proverbs 31 woman there is a lot of emphasis on supporting the husband and being a shrewd housekeeper.  In those days being a shrewd housekeeper was kind of like being a boss businesswoman. These ladies bought land and traded goods…. Think of the stockbrokers of today and you have the Proverbs 31 woman… only it goes beyond actions and into character. The Proverbs 31 woman is respected by her husband, her children, and the whole town. not one person has a single beef with her. Not. one. beef.

She’s the woman not even the haters hate because she’s just so freaking awesome.

She is a woman of integrity who trains her children to be upright. It is her vocation to support her husband and provide for his needs. Her vocation to teach her children what is right, despite what is comfortable. She’s a woman of integrity who doesn’t stand idly by while injustice thrives. She holds herself to the standard of perfection, to God’s standard, 24 hours a day and apologizes when she fails(even though by the world’s standard she has done nothing wrong.) And she does these things without expecting anything in return.

She is the most feminine woman imaginable because she fulfills her duty to herself, her family, and to her world with humility.

In Proverbs the woman described is in the setting of wife and a lot of times we single ladies skip over it because it doesn’t seem to be applicable to us. Well here’s the thing: being a woman of integrity and taking care of responsibilities is not reserved for the wife. Wherever you are in life you can take the model of the Proverbs 31 woman and translate it over. Like I said, she’s a shrewd manager of her home. This translates really well into the business world. Make wise decisions in your job, be nice to your boss and coworkers, be of flawless reputation. I can guarantee you you will not be fired from any reputable job by doing these things. On the contrary, these are the things that are prized in employees(Not that I’ve had much experience, but this is what I’ve observed.)

There is so much more that I could talk to about femininity, but I”m approaching 1,000 words and it’s midnight… I feel I haven’t been very concise, but this is where it’s at right now…. A bunch of loose thoughts and emotions tangled up with other thoughts and emotions trying to find a little bit of closure… By the end of the week I should be able to tell all, but I don’t really want to share until I have a happy ending to slap on the end.

I always appreciate y’alls comments. Keep ‘em coming!

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