Okay girls, Listen to the voice of experience.. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! I know that’s weird coming from a total stranger but, it’s true. Whatever you do, don’t do things to your body because it isn’t what you think it should be. I’ve been there, done that. It’s not worth it. In the end you just have a wasted body and a lot of problems to deal with. The reason why I’m writing this, is because two years ago(to the day) I became aware of the fact I hadn’t eaten in three years in a very disgusting way. (I found out what half digested chicken sandwich and fries looks like). My… realization led to a really long journey that included a trip to hell and back. At the lowest point I was considering suicide and boulemia, because my tummy hurt so much because I’d actually had FOOD! Just a warning against starting… It’s been two years and I’m still not over it completely. I have my days… and my weeks, where things are bad and I feel like I can’t eat anything. And the culture I live in stresses the fact that people are thin, or fat or whatever. You go to a grocery store and you see magazines that have headlines like “guess who’s had lipo?”. Please realize that it wasn’t untill recently that anorexic thin was attractive. Actually, a news flash (shh…. no wait tell everyone you know) ANOREXIC THIN ISN”T ATTRACTIVE!!!!! Geez, if I wanted to see internal organs I would become a sergeon. And I know that usually it doesn’t get that far, but just realize what you’re doing to your body. Did you know that people with Eating disorders get a fine layer of hair all over their body to keep them warm because they don’t have a natural insulator(fat)? did you know that a woman needs 17-20 % body fat(20% being a minimum for some women) to have regular menstrual cycles? Did you know that when your body uses up all your stored nourishment it will start taking the stuff it needs to function from your muscles? Did you know that your stomoch will start to digest your internal organs after a short period of time without food? I’m not saying this to scare you, just to show you that eating disorders are not pretty.
body image issues don’t just hurt you, it hurts your friends and family too. And if there is someone in your life that is telling you that you’re less than beautiful… DUMP THEM!!! I don’t care if it’s your best friend or the guy you’ve been dating for four years. If they are making you feel bad about yourself, they don’t deserve you!!! You are beautiful, and precious. Find people to be around who are supportive of what you are NOW not what you could be if you shed a few pounds.
I don’t know if you’re a Christian or not, but I’m going to tell you that I wouldn’t be around today without God. The truth is, during those painful nights I was visited by the worst boogie monster anyone can imagine. Very rarely does the spiritual world spill into the physical world, but for a two months of my life, I battled with the boogie monster. (yes I’m talking about satan). Every night I would huddle in the corner and wait for the barrage on my mind to stop. It was thoughts… and the danger lurking in the shadows. Fear, in essence. But it was so many different levels of fear. I’m not even going to try to describe the feeling of utter helplessness. It was like every night there was one person advocating on the side of death and the other on the side of life. During those nights, I would read the Psalms. Whenever it thunder stormed I would go outside at night and cry and talk to God and get away from the monsters in my room. There’s a psalm that talks about God’s lightning lighting up the world and the mountains melting like wax before God’s awesomeness. I clung to the promise that God was powerful enough to save me. And he did. I’m still alive and blogging.
If you’re out there feeling alone, feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org