My Testimony

As a part of my college experience I’ve been getting very involved with the Navigators. This is a christian organization on campus that’s goal is to know Christ and to make Him known. Ironically enough, that’s the goal of my home church. Go figure. So one of the things that distinguishes the Navs from a lot of other organizations is the emphasis they put on fellowship and being real with each other. Every time there is a Nav function, there’s a student who shares their testimony.

Well tonight I asked my fellow bible study members about their testimonies and I had the opportunity to share my testimony. But thinking about my testimony, there’s so much about my life that I could talk about in a testimony. My whole life, it seems, is full of divine appointments where God has shown himself as in control and I have been completely and utterly not. Every relationship, every situation, every strength, I’m a fool and God swoops in and teaches me something new about himself.

So what even is my testimony? I could tell you about my extremely poor relationship decisions. I could tell you about my inner feelings of insecurity. I could tell you about my difficulty in finding someone who builds my faith up. I could tell you about my pride, my selfishness, my arrogance, and how God broke down each and every one of those things. I could tell you about how I’m waiting and waiting through trials to finally be blessed. I could tell you how I’m so caught up in the selfish pleasures of this world that I haven’t taken the time to pursue God. I could tell you about my medical struggles and how I’ve learned to trust God through them.

I could tell you about the anorexia. I could tell you about my fight with suicidal thoughts. I could tell you about my feelings of inadequacy. I could tell you how I feel unloved and unwanted…

I could dump all of my emotional and physical baggage on you and tell you how God has shown himself to me….

Those stories have their times and their places. But the bottom line is that every area that I have surrendered to God has been blessed beyond my wildest dreams, and in the areas that I haven’t yet surrendered or I’m still waiting to be blessed, I have confidence that God has good things for me.

Difficult things.

Beyond difficult.

But good.

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