Hey-o. It’s spring break and I just got back from a really fun night with my friends. Nothing too crazy. Just dinner, a movie and some kick butt stargazing. Kinda got me to thinking about “best friends”… Now I have this problem…. It’s something like a fear of committment, though that’s not even what it is. It’s like I’m terrified of saying something is more then it is because I’m scared of being hurt by my own expectations. I don’t call people my best friend, I don’t say “I love you”…. I’ve psychoanalysed myself and I think it’s because I don’t want people to know how I really feel unless I’m completely overwhelmed by that feeling…. or when I was a kid these phrases were overused and they got a really negative reaction in my mind so it’s not necessarily a good thing anymore…. or maybe it’s because every time I called someone my best friend it ended up being the kiss of death on our relationship. Idk but I don’t like these things…
Anyways, this post going way deeper than I intended it to.
Basically I was out with my friends and for the second time in a week someone referred to me as their best friend followed by “That’s right, I went there.”
Which is cool, I think I’m getting over my fear of…. whatever it is I’m afraid of…
But the weird part is that whenever I think about my best friends I think about who would be my bridesmaids if I got married tomorrow….
Honestly, there are so many amazing people in my life right now I wouldn’t even know where to start. I have my school friends and my church friends and my family friends and my cousins…. I don’t blame those brides who end up with 7 bridesmaids. That’s going to be me someday.
Basically the point of this post is to express my gratitude to God and to others that I have such amazing people in my life. That so many people think of me as one of their best friends…. It’s kind of humbling to think about because I’m such a terrible friend, and yet I still have these amazing, strong, people around me.