PFFBHKGIOEOFGUIPHFKJDIKJFHEOIUHBSKJLBLFFNHCKENFNHHFHKSL:ANCKOSDANOCDNNCD:LSKN HAAAAAALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA bOOOOMMM!!!!
That is the sound of Gracie lou on sleep. You know how some people take drugs? I take naps. WEEEEEEEOOOWRRRR!!!!!!(Tobuscus fans out there? Weeeeoowr)
SO! Makeup. I can’t quite decide if I like it or not. The other day I was watching a Jenna Marbles video… (pause to allow for disapproving looks)…. and she said something about dressing up and looking her best for herself….
I think that’s a good outlook on it. I like wearing makeup and looking hot. whatevs fool. If people think I look like a slut, fuhgettaboutit!
Soooo…. about to get really serialll here but… You know how I’m lately talking about how I’m not a good person? Well… it’s true. But here’s the catch. I’m not a bad person either. You know those people…. the ones with their lady parts hanging out and their tongues pierced and they come to class totally wasted…. yeah I’m completely and totally physically pure. Which is a good thing. There’s nothing to regret once I get my judgement at (25). But here’s the deal. The good people I’m around are all “Omg you’re such a bad girl bla bla bla you haven’t had the good girl image in a long time! It’s almost as if you want to be perceived as a bad girl!” and all the
Moral of this story: There’s a massive disconnect between who I perceive myself to be and who other people perceive me to be. Cuz frankly, I am not what anyone thinks I am. My friends at school think I’m a total prick who will never ever cut loose and do anything(probably true, but only when it comes to things of the illegal sort(aka it’s my 18th birthday in about a month and a half and you all know what Grace is gonna start thinking about)). (Rebekah, I had a conversation with someone about permissible versus good and I think it was with you. So don’t freak out on me here.) But on the other side of the spectrum you have my family that doesn’t quite know what to think about me… idk what to think about me honestly….
But what I do know is I am not ashamed of who I am and I hate it that everyone is pushing and pulling for me to be something else. Expectations. I hate them. Everyone expects me to be good and perfect but I’m not so they’re disappointed and be rude about it. And then I get hurt cuz I’m doing the best I can, people, I’m only human and then I just wanna flip the bird and scream “Forget you, Bro”
yes. confession of the teenaged mind… even the most seemingly mature of teens has the urge to rebel. We call it senioritis. And I’ve got it bad. Coupled with an identity crisis I don’t know what to do, bro. Hence the post on makeup and naps. Cuz you know makeup changes who I am. You can tell whether I’m the good girl or the bad girl based on my makeup. For the past few weeks I’ve been very very good. No makeup. at all. and there’s that post about confidence and yadda yadda. Yeah, I believe it. But sometimes I just wanna be a badass. And that’s where you get the other me. I do it for myself, but sometimes it’s a “stick it to the man” move. Sometimes I dress and look like they do cuz I’m tired of hiding that side of me. Sometimes I go off the edge and go crazy cuz it’s bottled up inside of me like a lake of nasty. I like to call it nasty lake… Nasty lake is where all my language and makeup and attitude comes from. ‘merica. Nasty lake wants to dye these bronze locks….. mais the silvery blonde-ish idk wtf they are streaks are stopping it. I’ve always wanted to go gray like my mom…
And this is where I get naps. When I’m restless and tired of life and itching for change…. I nap. I can’t do something rash in my sleep. I can’t piss someone off in my sleep(except for my dad, but that’s a different story for a different time….. aka perhaps never). I can’t hear people talk bad about me while I’m sleeping(although for some reason I can hear my brother making out with his girlfriend. EWWWWWW 11/11/11 has some memories with it…) I’m not tired in my sleep, I’m not worn down in my sleep, and most of the time the enemy can’t touch me there(although there are select few terrifying cases that involve levitation and excruciating pain. Shudders I blame twilight)
This drug has a downside, like most drugs: insomnia. Hence the 1 AM post. Happy February 7th.
Random verse of the day from http://www.sandersweb.net/bible/verse.php
3:1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.