Where You Go I’ll Go

“My dearest Lizzy I hardly know what to write but I have….”


It’s been a few weeks since I last posted and I have no idea where to start.




In my last post I talked about identity and how it’s been a big issue in my life. Well that post and that realization was the start of a huge life-overhaul. A few weekends ago I went to Kansas City to a conference with the Navigator’s called Main Event. Basically everything God had been telling me was once again shouted in my ear and I couldn’t help but listen and obey.

The biggest of these things was a new conviction that God was moving ahead of me like the pillar of fire before the Israelites and I wasn’t packing up my tents and following.

This has been the hardest thing for me because this means leaving everything that I associate with my Christian faith and moving to a new church. Yup, there it is. It’s out. I said it. After 16 years with the same church and not a small amount of perseverance and faith God has given me the green light to leave. Right when I don’t want to.

It’s crazy how God works. If a year ago God had knocked on my door and said “I want you to find a new church” it would have been incredibly easy. At that point in time my home church was dying, my friends were all long gone, and there was a lot of raw hurt that I just didn’t want to deal with. But God said stay. And so I stayed.

Then we healed a bit and we started to grow and this amazing man with his amazing family started regularly attending with the intention of taking over the music ministry. I was stoked! He unified our team, he leads with vision and authority. He’s trained in music, both by experience and in a classroom. He seemed to me to be a ticket to becoming a worship leader myself.

Before this summer I started praying for this school year and praying about whether I should stay at my church or start going somewhere else. I wrote out a list and worship team made me sit my butt down and stay.

Then God tore down the idols in my heart and showed me what a fool I am.

I revisited the list and I realized that nothing is more important than my relationship with God.

And God showed me that He had moved to another church and I was too trapped in my selfish desires to follow.

The thing running through my head has been “If your presence goes I don’t want to stay, If your presence stays I don’t want to go.”

It just kind of brings me back to the desperation for God’s presence.

Is it hard? Unbelievably so. Will I go? You bet your butt.

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3 Responses to Where You Go I’ll Go

  1. bekahcubed says:

    I’m proud of you for listening for the voice of God and being obedient when He calls. You’ll never go wrong when you’re following Him. Love you, my sister!

  2. Matt B says:

    How did you hear these things?
    Was it through your own speculation/meditation (not forbidden but certainly not authoritative)?
    Was it through direct revelation confirmed by Scripture (like visions, dreams, voice, theophany or Christ)?

    • Gracie says:

      You know, that’s a really good question. I really hate to say “Because it feels right” Because that’s totally not what it’s about, but it’s kind of the truth. Kind of. To answer your question, it’s both my own speculation and scripture. I think it’s pretty biblical that if you’re following Christ then there is peace. One of the big things for me was that I went to this conference where I spent literally 48 hours non-stop worshiping God and spending time in His word and as I continued to pray about this decision I grew more and more at peace about it.

      The second thing was the list of pros and cons that I made. The main thing that I don’t have at my current church is relationships that encourage and challenge me. I don’t have the kind of relationships where I can tell someone about my struggles and they hold me accountable. I don’t have someone to go to when I have a question about something I read in my bible and I’m confused. I just don’t have the Paul-Timothy relationship that I want and I believe is biblical. Also I think as a result of that lack of fellowship it’s been really easy for me to backslide.

      And thirdly there’s the simple fact that I am the only college student at my church with the exception of my brother Tim and his roommate. So when I am overcome with hunger for the word of God there isn’t really a venue to be fed at church. All of the stuff geared towards young people is geared towards middle school and younger, and all the stuff for adults is geared towards people with children and older.

      My conclusion after looking at all of this was that it is best for my spiritual health that I find someplace where I can have mutually edifying relationships and be fed because the point of the church, at it’s core, is to fellowship and build each other up. You can praise God on your own, you can bible study on your own, you can pray on your own, you can evangelize on your own, but you can’t fellowship by yourself. And if I don’t have fellowship where there’s supposed to be fellowship then isn’t that a waste of time? it all comes down to what is really important.

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