Only In Nebraska

Imagine this, ladies and gentlegerms. You are lying on the couch gently snoozing to the tellie while the sun streams in the windows, the air conditioning successfully protecting you from the 102 degree heat outside. In the foggy recesses of your mind a single thought registers.

“Is that hail?”

It takes a few moments for the thought to make it’s way to the coherent places of your mind, but when the thought arrives it is a mere second before your half asleep body is careening into the sunlight, urgent to reach your car through the rain and hail before too much water gets in through the open windows.

Something cuts into the sole of your bare foot, but your sleepy mind can only process one emergency, and in that window of time nothing is more important than the cloth upholstery in your car. You drunkenly stagger into the car and grapple with the windows, the exhaustion and adrenaline fighting in your fingers making it hard to crank the old windows up. But alas, within the space of a minute the windows are up, the rain is pounding the roof not getting in, and the sun is still streaming into your eyes.

You lay across the gear shifter onto the passenger seat in order to let the adrenaline pass and your pulse to return to a normal rate. In a clearer state of mind you exit your car and dash back to the house, eager to return to your nap.

You lay back down on the couch. The rain and hail stops. Your foot is throbbing. You look down and see a shard of glass poking out of a bloody wound. Your nap is ruined.