Gracebug

I don’t know if it’s just me, but this semester has been a lot harder then last semester. Or maybe I”m just unmotivated. or maybe both. Anyway, despite taking two music classes, I’m still swamped in homework. Mainly from Math, French, Career Ed, and World History… AKA all my classes except the music ones and biology. hopefully things will get better though. I think it wouldn’t be so bad if I weren’t going through some major drama on the friend front. Although I will admit, I am very surprised that I haven’t flipped out and become a hermit yet and I’ve been in the thick of the fight for a few weeks now.

Basically I’m having some issues relationally, although I’d like to think I’m getting better at it…. who knows, we’ll see. My one joy is that my relationship with God is… booming? and he has shown me direction for my life. It helps as a high school sophomore who has just started getting contact from colleges to have direction. and I know you people(dear readers) don’t know about the college mail yet, but there you have it. I’ve gotten letters talking about how I will fit into their programs and I’ll get scholorships if I “find myself” on their campus. I don’t even know what the jesuite’s were thinking on that one.

I’ve officially decided that college junk mail has got to be the most retarded stuff ever. They don’t even know how to use appealing phrases they’re all “Believe in yourself and you will acheive great things” Like seriously, who actually believes that?

anyway, now that I’ve rambled my way off topic, I’m going to share what’s on my heart right now. Cofusion. difficulty. I don’t know where my life is headed at this moment. Things could be drastically changed before the end of the month and I’ll have an entirely new group of friends. I might have a bunch of weepy freinds on my hands. I might get my old boring blissfully happy life back where the only worry is keeping my face turned the right direction in biology class and not getting frozen solid milk in the lunch line. but at this moment, I can’t really say it’s any of those things. but I’m not too worried about it. Now, Im’ going to share something I learned how to do from those retarded letters

God isn’t going to change.

how was that for a cliche? as a rule I don’t say things that are cliche unless I”m being retarded or completely serious. at this moment, I”m going for serious. God doesn’t change. He doesn’t bail out when I make decisions that he doesn’t like. He doesn’t judge me because my hair is the wrong color or I have love handles. He doesn’t ignore me because I’m just pissing him off with my antics. And the plus side is that he listens. and he gives advice. As I have learned in the past few weeks, humans have issues doing this… and when they do listen and give advice, it’s highly likely they don’t understand and they’re just saying words and hoping it’s applicable. God doesn’t do that. He is consistent in caring. He understands. He comforts, and he provides a solution. and it’s not just one of those watered down solutions that works for a while and then gives you a really bad rash. His solutions work 100% of the time. So, no matter my issues or how hard life gets, I can rely on him. He’s not going to let me down like everybody else.

There, you’ve had the long overdue blog post.