I’ve been cheating on God.

All right. I’ve been examining my life, and I’ve found that I could be the next Miley Cyrus!!!!! At home I’m this super religious pcycho Jesus freak…. But at School I’m a completely different person. It kind of makes me think of the song “Unfaithful” By Rihanna(Yes, I do enjoy her music). It’s basically the story of this girl who is cheating on her boyfriend and she knows she shouldn’t but she can’t stop, but it’s breaking her heart cuz she feels like she’s murdering him everytime she leaves to go cheat on him. I know, it’s a typical shallow hollywood pop-out of “I can’t stop doing it, so why should I try”. But I kind of feel like God and mine’s relationship is kind of like that. Sad but true. I guess I need to prioritize and get re-focused…. 

On the bright side… I watched a really good movie about Liberlas being completely and totally wacked… It’s called an American Carol… If you like to laugh at liberals, that’s the perfect movie for you.

Bluenote jazz band auditions tomorrow… I’m kind of stressing about it. This all comes back to my detasseling theory… If honoring God is your #1 goal… all the other stuff is going to get piled on top as a perk… If I honor God in my work and my talent, then no matter what happens his will will be done, whether I get top five and make the audition… or I utterly fail. All praise and glory and honor and Love be to Christ who died in my stead.

Grace

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restless

I’m feeling really antsy about going and doing things for God. I want to get out into the field and go to different countries and DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES AN IMPACT!!!!! geez, I know there are great opportunities in a high school, but do you realise how hard hearted these people are? It’s not like they’ve never heard.

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Late at night rambling

Have I ever told you how much I hate kids? I really do. They smell gross, the up-chuck on your stuff and the dump popcorn all over the floor. Do you know how much I hate testosterone? What part of “happily single” don’t you understand. FREAKING NIMROD! NO! I will NOT be your freaking valentine! JSYK, If you’re reading this(You know who you are) I like you as a person, but… well, I’m not just being silly when I say “happily single.”.

That’s my rant for the day…. night….. morning?

3:01 AM. Goodnight…. or shall I say goodmorning…. GOOOOOOd morning! Good MOOOOOOrning! It GreEAT to stay up late good morning, good morning to YOU!!!!

Posted in Girl-ness | 2 Comments

Diretribe

as the name suggests.. I’m going to go off on a rant…

First order of business. Diretribe. I learned that word in my oral comm class today. I’m going to go off on a diretribe about the student teacher of said oral comm class. She’s a democrat… as always. She made a very offensive, false, biased, rude, seriotypical, FALSE statement today. She said that “Republicans are all rich and way up there. they’re more conservative, but Democrats tend to be poorer and care more about the people. and of course, more liberal.”… what a generalization… and it’s so FALSE! and even if it were true, why do you think it’s like that? Maybe Republicans(conservatives) apply that to every aspect of their life? Maybe our lives don’t reflect our political views, but our political views reflect our lives. We’re conservative about EVERYTHING! Money, possessions, children. We work on a “If it’s not there, don’t use it” system. If we save our money and collect interest on it…. NO FLIPPIN DUH WE”RE GOING TO BE BETTER OFF FINANCIALLY! and we also go to collage and do things that actually help people i.e. research, business and medicine. We don’t go into pansy fields that don’t pay like teaching…. music…. acting…. journalism…. So… we make more money, we save more money… yeah, it’s a no-brainer. But! the implication that we don’t care about people is so… heinous! We care about people, we want them to be independant and have a good job… not solely relying on the government. we want to protect the people by puniching lawbreakers and not letting them all run naked and wild killing at will. “But it’s human life!”… There are people who are so confused as to how I can be por-life and pro-death penalty at the same time…. here’s how it works.. a man who took another man’s life deserves to, in return have his life taken. The government’s job is to carry out justice in an impartial and fair manner. By every standard a murderer deserves to get what he took away from someone else taken away from him. An unborn child didn’t do anything to anyone. An unborn child didn’t kill you. an unborn child didn’t “ruin your life”. You did that to yourself, hoe. Anyway, back to ms. “Democrats care about people and republicans don’t”. I have numerous reasons as to why she shouldn’t have said this. 1) it’s false. 2) it’s a steriotype(the main thing schools try to discourage) 3)It sways young minds opinions in a direction that it might not have gone otherwise(refer to reason #1) 4)It’s offensive. I’m offended by it. 5) whatever happened to reaching accross the aisle, mate? I’m trying. That’s why I didn’t chew you out in front of the whole freaking class because you’re a stupid ignorant adult that thinks she knows everything but has got it all wrong! I respect democrats. I respect where they stand on the real issues. But what I don’t like is that some of the things that democrats come up with to namecall republicans is just… rediculous! RICH?!? Not nearly! uncaring about people? Heck no techno! I’m not just pulling this from thin air! I know that republicans do it just as much, I* do it just as much. But when faced with a democrat, I’m not going to call them those things to their face! I’m not going to spew hatred toward them because I can’t refute what they just said. I’ve listened to a liberal viewpoint. I respect where they’re coming from. I’ve even rethought some of my views because they point out very valid points. (Yes, there actually are liberals who  talk clean politics out there). Why can’t you do that for me, democrats? Why can’t you reach across the aisle for once and listen to what I have to say without being biased and turning a deaf ear? frustration is…. overcoming me. And conservatives are NOT a minority! 

second order of business. What’s this about having a specific “No religious-ness” section in the stimulus bill? That’s discrimination. Socialism. down right wrong! not that we want your money, but you know what message that sends to me? Oh, well, here’s what it says RED ALERT! persecution, possibly a holocaust coming! it only starts with specifically not giving us the same benefits. by by non-profit organisation status.. oops! higher tax on churches! “Oh, it says here you’re ‘religious’ that’s another thousand dollars. Ooh, I can’t hire a christian because then I have to pay higher taxes. No christians allowed in this cafe! We don’t want you here. Dude, why don’t you just, leave the country or something… Oh, you don’t want to leave the counrty? Here, let me give you a little motivation. On second thought, I don’t want to burden another country with your false ideas. I’m just going to kill all of you!” and that’s how religion gets squashed out of a country. It’s a very scary thought… you don’t trust me? Just wait…

Third order of business. I was walking down the hall, when all of a sudden I couldn’t move because… WHADDYA KNOW! I 20 idiot pileup! I’m not even joking, every stupid person and their significant other were hanging around in the middle of the hall…. all clumped up in the same area. honestly people! Did it ever cross your mind that you could, I don’t know, move out of the way!? I sat there for five minutes tapping my foot because I couldn’t budge an inch. I love high school, don’t get me wrong… but I think a bunch of retards go to my school.

Well, I’ve successfully ranted about all three things that caused me to have a headache today. Someday I’m going to start a video blog. That’ll be cool.

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School

Yup, I’m blogging from school. SHHH!!! It’s in science and we’re supposed to be working on our layered curriculum…. I’m kind of doing the labs for tomorrow and Wednesday to finish my layer, So I have nothing to do…So I’m blogging!

I look around the room and I see a lot of people who desperately need to know what the heck they’re doing. Everyone is completely lost… Like those little space ships that you see floating around in space in really old versions of star trek. My bad side finds it amusing…my good side finds it…. pitiful. I want to help, but I don’t…. I’m such a bundle of controversy. Of course, we already knew that didn’t we(I also have MPD)….I should reiterate how much controversy exists in me sometime…I only have five minutes before lunch! YAY! I can have citris green tea for lunch! Thanks for the belly wash allowance Pops!

Posted in Random Anecdotes | 2 Comments

What the….

Yeah, I’m having a WTF mate? moment. Confession. I really honestly don’t care right now. If I didn’t know I would regret it, I would totally go out and trash my life. Holy CRAP the world looks so good. And I really hate the internet! If it weren’t for youtube I would never have seen all the random hot guys that are from different continents…. although the German’s sometimes come to me… That’s a scray exhilerating thought. Oh, and sad face. My sexy german guy moved back to Germany :*( Now I don’t have a hot foreign dude to stare at while writing my book about a hot german guy. Sad face :(. No seriously, I am a woman of opportunity. I CAN”T TAKE IT ANY MORE! Okay, yeah I can. I’m just going to settle down, write some of my book, get it out of my system, watch another relationship fail… and then I’ll be a-o-k. Yeah, there’s a slim chance of that happening. Oh well, just the thought of writing my book makes me calm down. I also feel like writing a book about a dude that gets shot in the head by an angry floating CMP130…. lol! FYI, yes I made that gun up…. at least I’m pretty sure I did…. okay, so I have two weaknesses. Foreign men and Morbidity. That’s wrong on so many different levels…. oh my gosh I can’t believe I’m confessing this for everyone to read.

*hides*

Posted in Girl-ness | 4 Comments

Love?

Love:

to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in

to need or require; benefit greatly from

There ya go, my three favorite definitions for Love. 

Most popular definition of love: You know you’re in love when you can’t sleep because reality is better then dreams.

In case you haven’t noticed yet, I have a different definition of love. Many of you have heard me say that I don’t believe in love. To some extent it’s very true. I don’t believe in the kind of love that makes girls lose sleep, or the kind of love that people ruin their future’s for. The love that makes a girl do something she doesn’t want to do just to make it happy. The love that makes a girl murder her own child because love will get mad. The love that steals what is most beautiful and precious and takes it and twists it into a deformed mass of ruin. I don’t believe in that love… In fact that isn’t even love. That’s the world’s perception of what they want to be love. Well, I have a little surprise quiz for you.

DO YOU LOVE HIM!?!?!?!

Write your answers on a seperate piece of paper.

1)You’re walking down the street with the man of your dreams and suddenly a psycho axe murderer pops out in front of you, demanding one of you dies. Would you die in his stead?

2)You get a call in the middle of an all-girls night, the man of your dreams is crying. What do you do? 

3)The man of your dreams just died, are you still alive?

If you love him, the answers should be 1)Yes. 2)my pain is his pain. explain to the girls and go comfort my man. 3)no.

The true definition of love doesn’t say anything about Sex, being a fool, silly infatuation, or whatever tag you put onto love when you hear the word. In the world’s eyes, I’m incapable of love. I CAN”T have a silly infatuation. I CAN”T be a fool over someone. My reason will never leave me no matter how much I want a relationship to work. I can never “love” someone enough to trash my morals and values just to make us feel good for a short time. Love is the part where you don’t have to do anything for them, and they don’t have anything to do for you. Love is where you will give anything for the better of them and expect nothing in return. It’s where you lay everything on the line for them and trust that they’re not going to trash it. 

The truth comes out: I’m in love, and It’s because of that that I look at what everyone calls love and I feel… compassionate… because there are so many people who want to fill a hole in their life with love, but they can’t because honest and true love can’t be found in this world. No one is perfect. everyone falls short of what’s expected in some way or the other. Nothing less then perfect can fill the whole in everyone’s heart. But I’m in love with the only perfect man to ever have walked the earth.

To be honest, I’m having a very…. distracting conversation right now. So if my thoughts aren’t completed… just holler and I’ll finish the thought for ya.

Posted in Girl-ness | 2 Comments

Revival at a cost

I walked up to the teacher’s desk after class and threw my project assignment onto it.
“I’m sorry Mr. wright, I can’t do this project.”
Mr. Wright took off his reading glasses and carefully set them on the desk, deliberately waiting before saying a word. “Why?”
I hesitated “For my own conscience. I can’t advocate something that I know with every fiber of my being is wrong.”
“Maria, I can’t un-assign this. You’re my best student, I know you can write a convincing presentation.”
“That’s precisely the problem. I’m a very convincing writer, and people my age will adopt any belief that flies their way. I refuse to plant atheistic ideas in innocent, gullible minds.”
“You speak as if you weren’t one of them.”
“I’m not one of them! What separates me from them is the fact that I know what I believe! I know that what I believe is true, and if my writing convinces those people that I’m wrong… then I want nothing to do with it.” I was deadly calm. 
He sighed “Your only alternative is to take a zero on the presentation.”
“Okay, I’m willing to pay that price for the sake of truth.”
I calmly walked out of the classroom, Leaving fear and doubt behind. I could do this!

Months passed as the nation fell into chaos. a sense of impending doom crowded my senses. Four months after my stand in English class America fell under dictatorship. Schools were infiltrated by government officials. Select teacher were thrown out because of “insufficient training”. Heavy security was placed on organizations such as schools…. and churches. Before long Christians were being repressed and persecuted. 

Six months to the day another English Project landed on my desk. Mr. Wright had been thrown out and replaced with a scary looking government approved teacher. I quickly flipped through the project instructions. In short, write an 8 page persuasive essay on why God doesn’t exist. This was the most blatantly atheistic project I’d ever been assigned. 
Summoning every ounce of courage and beseeching God for strength, I walked the long walk up to the front of the class. Like before I threw the project onto the desk, only this time I was in front of 27 of my peers. 
“No.” Said I.
“Why?” Said He.
“Because there is a God, and no matter how much brainwashing you do, you cannot wash that truth from my mind.” Turning from him I yelled to the class “There is a God!!!!” security officers flooded the room to drag me away. All the way to the front courtyard I screamed “No! In all these things I am more than a conqueror in Christ who loves me! For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither height nor depth, not anything else in all of creation will be able to separate me from the love of God.” They tied my hands to the flag pole. as I began the 23rd Psalm. “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want,” Teachers and students were gathering around. “He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,” More officers trooped in. “He restores my soul, He guides me in paths of righteousness. for his name’s sake.” The officers formed a circle around me…”Even though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death…” The officers aimed their guns at my heart. “I will fear no evil, for you are with me….”
My last word was cut off as 12 bullets entered my heart. 
“Your rod and your staff comfort me.” A voice from the crowd continued my recitation.”You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” More voices joined in. “You anoint my head with oil.” Over half of the crowd joined in. “”My cup over-flows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord FOREVER!” The last word was screamed with the force of a football field full of people. The racket drew the rest of the students. A football player threw back his head and yelled 
“Who do you serve!?”
A thousand fists punched the air and as many voices chanted “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”
“Who do you serve?!?!?!”
Another wave of cries swept through the courtyard. The officers shot randomly into the crowd. Siren’s could faintly be heard over the sound of thousands of teens committing their lives to Christ.
Armed forces arrived.

1000 young Christians and new believers died that day for the sake of the cross. All because I took a stand and said “no”. My sacrifice led to an avalanche of commitments to God. In addition to my fellow classmates, massive numbers of people around the world accepted the truth through the media because of a martyr. American’s began to band together and revolt against the government. To most it was more then just a religion or a bandwagon to hop on, to them it was a lifestyle. A few years later the dictator was over-thrown and the church took on feeding the poor and hungry. America truly united under God. 

One act of obedience caused an avalanche of reactions. Did I know that my stand would trigger one of the biggest revolutions in history? No, But God did. People are now trying their best to reach every person in the whole world with the joy and love and peace that comes with God. They are scrambling to reach every person before He returns.
(End)

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1) Eco-friendly rant 2) solution

1)

My current facebook status is “Grace almost said something incredibly rude to someone she loves very much. Please, don’t talk about the environment when Grace is around.” I know, really long status… But it’s the truth.. I almost cyber-told someone to buzz off(the nicer words for what I had in mind) because they sent me something as miniscule as a “save the environment” app invitation.

Just to clarify this… I hate eco-friendliness. I hate the global warming fluke. I hate the freaking out about greenhouse gasses. I hate the stupid tax they want to put on farmers because of the greenhouse gasses their animals emit. I hate it when people go out of their way to be nice to an inanimate object. What ticks me off the MOST! is the fact that president Obama is joining the fray. I personally don’t care if a very conscious person says “You know what, I’m going to ride my bike to work because 1) it’s more price efficient 2) It reduces greenhouse gasses and 3)I’m kind of lazy, I am American after all.” But Darnit! That has no place in government! My nation is in the middle of a war that is only going on because freedom is being protecting and the first thing the new president does is work on stuff concerning eco-friendliness??? GET A BRAIN!!!! Ever heard the song “circle of life”? Well, it’s the circle of life, people. You get out, you start fights, you ruin some crap on the way, You die, You return to dust, you end up either in heaven or hell.

I believe that the human race along with every single planet in every single galaxy is coming to an end.  everyone talks about “oh we’re saving the environment for our grandkids!”. Well, I’m not going to say that because I don’t believe there will be any grandkids to save the planet for. I think by the time the next generation is reproducing Jesus will come and we’ll have far bigger fish to fry. The earth will get burned up by the sun and we’ll all die!!! I know, It sounds like a conspiracy theory… It kind of is a conspiracy theory… anyway, the whole global warming thing is just a political ploy to turn heads from the true issue. from the very beginning America’s purpose has been to protect freedom. Right now there are very evil people in the middle east and Sudan who are impinging upon the freedom of the people. America is the *self-proclamed* defender of freedom… People are DYING! which do you think is a bigger issue? global warming or the wars that we are wrapping up and about to get into?

I know some of you are going to read this and say “But Grace, I’m worshipping God by being a good steward of the earth he’s given me.”.. I understand that… I *might even respect that. But doesn’t God say somewhere “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you”… Jesus said this because there were people out their boasting about how much they prayed…. I look atenvironmentally-friendliness in the same way as I look at prayer. It’s a private personal thing. Go into your room and be eco-friendly. Fine! I don’t care! but do NOT judge me because I don’t recycle or because I still drive my lambo even though it guzzles gas. Last time I checked I still lived(past tense, I’m afraid of checking again) in a free country!

Something that I learned from one of my friends at school(I know, It amazed me too.) is that everything that happens is in God’s plan. Think about how silly this is. OUr environment’s in shambles and God’s looking down saying “I didn’t expect THAT to happen!”… No… no… just… no. that’s not how God works. He’s all powerful, and all knowing… He knows that we’re eventually going to use up all the resources. He know’s we’re trashing the place… it’s in human nature to trash things. seriously, I can understand this! I got mad one day so I chucked an object (that I won’t disclose here) at the floor… It busted into pieces! I get mad, my first instinct is to break something. My dad is always ranting about how his house is in shambles because his kids keep on breaking it… Humans are very violent! You don’t teach a kid to hit, you teach it not to hit! God knows what is going on. He knows what’s going to happen. He knows EVERYTHING! There’s a reason we call him all knowing… past present and future, he knows it all! If he didn’t know the future would he be all knowing? What a no-brainer! “If he didn’t know this would he still be all-knowing”… Geez, stupidity amazes me… in this case my stupidity… any-who, now you know why I don’t like eco-friendliness, especially in the government.

On to….

2)

The easy way out is socialism or dictatorship. The hard way out is democracy… God’s way out is to take up the cross and follow him. everyone knows that the easy way out has lots of string attatched and the hard way takes too much effort… But God is the perfect solution. After school today some guy was complaining about how people aren’t effective and how they just cling to their beliefs and won’t get over it and do something productive… this was kind of a slap in the face for me because This guy is very decidedly agnostic/atheistic, And I had a strange feeling inside my soul that he was talking about christians. This other girl kept on telling him, “don’t worry about their life, just worry about your life.”. Usually I don’t applaud people from school… especially not my Obama loving, eco-friendly, pro-gay rights friends…. but at this point I’m going to have to applaud the statement. Amen sista! You win the standing O. If people(and the government) would mind their own business, we wouldn’t be in a big mess… unfortunately, sometimes it doesn’t work like that. Sometimes there’s evil people out their deciding that their business is killing people, babies, animals, plants, diseases, etc. and the first thing that pops into someone’s mind is “dear God, that’s gotta stop!”. Well, that’s where taking up the cross comes into play. When you’re lugging around one and a half trees, you’re probably fairly blind to anything but the person who is leading you. If God is that person, then shouldn’t you be going exactly where he wants you to be going? If God wants you to end injustice, then he’ll lead you down that road. If everyone in the universe was following the same person, then wouldn’t we all be united under the same purpose? If we’re all striving toward the same end, then would there still be people out there killing stuff? No. there wouldn’t. God is the solution. true peace comes through Christ. There isn’t a better way. When everyone is united under God… THEN we will have peace. THEN we will be truly free. THEN injustice will come to an end. THEN we will be happy. You’ve probably heard that for so many years… TV ads shove that down your throat 24/7. “Buy this and then you’ll be happy!” “Buy this and you’ll be eco-friendly!” “Buy this and there will be world peace!”(Yes, that one does exist…. Pepsi commercials in the 70′s were all about world peace). People complain “But it’s so hard to be a christian! There are so many rules!”. Guess what, I’m a christian and I love my life. I don’t feel restricted unless I look away from God. and take it from me, the greener grass on the other side is actually astro-turf. Drugs kill you… alcohol kills your liver… which kills you… smoking gives you cancer… which kills you… Sex gives you STD’s.. which kill you… anorexia makes your body digest itself… which kills you. a really nice tan gives you skin cancer… which kills you. Big boobs make your spine collapse because you have too much weight on your chest… which kills you.  That’s the grass on the other side…. does it look so green now? or was it just pretending to be grass? It just looks good, but when you send your goat out to graze… it DIES! because there isn’t any nourishment there. It’s just plastic… You can’t sustain life on it…. much less build life on it! in 50 years who’s gonna be happier; me, the christian that stayed away from all that evil nasty stuff that kills you, or the person who is either rotting in a sarcoffigus, or in a hospital with one foot in the sarcoffigus and one toe on the shore. something tells me you’re going to want to be with me in 50 years…. with Jesus… He’s the ultimate solution to every political, relational, emotional problem… he is the source and sustainer of life. He’s ‘in the biz’, so to speak. He knows how to deal with life, he’s got a perfect track record… and it’s not because he didn’t vote on anything controvertial! He votes on something and 100% of the time it succeeds… Well, God just voted for your life, the odds are definately in his favor.

That is the monthly 1573 words from the Teeange girl’s brain.

Posted in Politics, Religion | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

creepy-ness

 

 

Me

Me age 2

 

mom age 2

mom age 2

Isn’t that a really creepy resemblance?

Posted in Girl-ness | 3 Comments