EPIC DAY!

Well, I had a really good day today! I woke up at 4:29(I minute before my alarm went off) and got my stuff ready for a my first day as a detasseling bus hopper! I got to LL and hopped in the bus with Nelly(love her <3!). We waited and waited and waited…. but John didn’t show up :/ we couldn’t decide whether to be happy or sad. we rode in the bus for an hour and fifteen minutes to get to the village over(lol), where we helped the detasselers there. What made this day good was not the thunder storm that caused us to sit on the bus whilst still getting paid, was not the awesome people on LL bus, was not the really cool bus driver and assistant that made everyone feel special and needed and talented… It wasn’t even the lack of first years! What made today great was that we were helping our fellow detasselers when they were in a pinch. The bus we were helping is fairly new, so there aren’t that many experienced detasselers on it. this bus had three fields that they needed to first pull and second pull before they could pass the fields… and to make matters worse, the bus had to get it all done in three days! what my bus did was third pull the entirety of one of their fields to the point where it will pass, and first pulled a large chunk of their other fields. I did seven-ish miles of third pull, and four of first pull. the last mile was optional, and was therefore voted on. We the detasselers decided to walk the extra mile for our fellow detasselers.

now, for the little thing that I really really liked, but didn’t make it worth it…

1)no first years

this was awesome because the only people there were the ones that wanted to be there. this meant there was no whining, no moaning, no gossiping, no swearing, no stupid mistakes, no slow people, no annoying people yelling in your ear at 5:30 AM… It was awesome… and to top it off, we got to go very fast!

2) no squads.

Basically what we did was each detassel our own panels. no watching other people work. no waiting for other squads to finish. almost no bailing. no yelling. no effort… just had to pull. basically what we did today was a mini version of what the force does everyday(the force is the bus comprised of only experienced detasselers that have been in the top five of their bus). It’s fun!

3)continually working.

We never stopped to bail other people out. You just did your panel, got out, started a new panel, got out, etc. the people in charge were very prompt and basically had us constantly working. I liked this. My feet hurt really bad, but it was way!!!! way! worth it.

4) veggie tails sing-along!!!!

they arn’t adopting the name “the corny choir” for nothing! Most of the ride home from the field was spent singing with bob and larry!

and I ate my lunch :D

Happy detasseling season!

Posted in Random Anecdotes, Relationship | 5 Comments

Runners High

so…. I got runners high while I was running with Josh tonight. It was fun.

As a slight prelude to this post, I’ll inform you of one thing…. I suck at running. I REALLY suck at running. I can sprint okay, but over a long distance I’m no good…. probably because I am really out of shape. I really do love to run though. Anyway, I ran half-way and then I stopped for a bit(I know, I’m horrible…) to stretch my calves because they hurt like they would snap at any moment. then I got half way back from the halfway point and I stopped again because I couldn’t breathe. I kept going a while and then right as I was crossing the second to last street before home stretch the song that I was listening to(All that I am-the afters) came to the chorus.

Love you with all of my heart

Jesus I’ll love you with all of my mind

Jesus I’ll love you with all of my soul

Jesus I’ll love you with all that I am

And I thought “What the heck am I doing. I’m running not because I want to get into shape or because I feel fat or because it’s the right thing to do…. I’m doing this because I love God, and I’m going to run as much as I love God”… Yeah, I felt everything around me fade away. I didn’t hurt anymore, I wasn’t complaining to myself anymore. I was simply running like I love God. And then I was about to cross the tracks and I noticed that there was a train. the first thing that popped into my head was :Is it moving, I need to stop”. poof! Good-bye runners high. Then I got to the street and I was waiting for the light to turn green, and all my icky thoughts came back. I kind of walked/hopped across the street….

Well, I’ve been reading this manga recently called Naruto(yes I’m a nerd, and I”M ON CHAPTER 125!!!!!! only a 325 to go!!!!). In Naruto the main characer(Naruto) is really determined to get the high honor of being the villages Hokage(that is the best ninja in the village). He beats his body and trains and trains and trains until his body is nearly dead… and then he trains some more. He’s super determined and he does whatever it takes to become the best ninja.

Another character(Rock Lee) is determined to become the best at one branch of ninja-awesomeness because he can’ access the other two branches(he’s lame sauce). He also trains and trains and trains until he’s almost dead…. well, in the manga there’s something that rock lee’s sensei tells naruto and lee…. he says that people aren’t born into things… they aren’t entitled to positions like hokage and master of taijutsu…. People get places in their lives through hard work and determination.

I remembered this as I was crossing the street, and I kept thinking “So what, I’m not hard working and determined now!” and then it hit me… Determination is not something that you’re born with, It’s something that you choose to do. You work hard when you’re determined to keep going without stopping even if it means you can’t breathe(or think you can’t breathe) and your calves hurt like they’ve been beaten with a toaster… you keep going and you give it all you’ve got cuz you’re running for Jesus.

Yup, gotta love Naruto. there! I’m not a closet nerd anymore!!!!

XD

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Happy Independance day!

Well, it’s true. Another July 4th celebration is in full swing. My plans for the days go like this

sometime soon: Duets with my beautiful friend Joanna(Viola/Piano duet)

12 noon: Tea party on the capital steps… OOBER JAZZED ABOUT IT!!!! I’ve always wanted to go to a tea party and hold a sign and actually like…. publically say “THIS SUCKS!!!!”

afternoon: Be lazy. hang with friends. laugh a lot. probably some fireworks.

7: eat steaks with my family. YuM favorite American meal.

when it’s dark: Fireworks show and flaming Coconut Soccer!!!!! WOOOTT!!!!! yes, I did say flaming coconut soccer. Some of you are thinking “what are the crazy teenagers doing now” and some of you are thinking  “Crap, why didn’t I think of that!”. FCS is my favorite sport. It has a high risk factor which makes it thrilling. It ranks up there with football, hockey and nascar racing…. take away the fire, and it’s the dumbest sport ever created.

Now, the whole point of Independance day is to celebrate the independance of… AMERICA! The point is to celebrate 233 years of freedom. I also celebrate the freedom that I have in christ. So, during your busy day, celebrate freedom from sin.

Over and out.

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Insomnia

who ever heard of a 15 year old getting insomnia? well, the reason why I’m posting this is because at approxamately(can’t spell) 3 AM I woke up and didn’t go back to sleep. I spent the next hour and a half thinking about music, teaching piano, the shadows in my room, and the faxct that my feet were over-heated… and then I went upstairs to get a drink of water. Upstairs I had a revelation: I’m not going to be able to get back to sleep. So, I got on facebook and updated my status. I vandalized my hacker-sister’s wall. I commented on a few of my friends statii. I checked my e-mail. I read this really interesting D2S soulfuel about being free and alive and not being slaves to sin. And now I’m writing this pointless blog that would be filled with frustration… but…

So, I’ve decided to pick a verse a day from my devotions and write it down on a little card and tape it to my wall. It’s a grand idea! maybe I’ll actually stay on top of my reading!

No, mom, the time stamp is not correct. It is in fact 5 am. If you’re scandalized by that even after reading this blog, let me reiterate. I CAN’T SLEEP!!!! and those shadows in my room are PRETTY CREEPY!

aiight, good-night civilized peeps

The nostalgic insomniac.

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Classical Music

You know how when people want to be really dumb or want to ask a very thought provoking question are want to spark an interesting conversation or want to fill the empty silence they’ll ask odd questions? Well, that happened to me one time. I was faced with this question:

“Would you rather be blind or deaf?”

to me, the answer is clear. Blind. why you may ask? Well, again, it’s rather clear. Music. Honestly, think about a shopoholic(yeah, I just watched that deucedly annoying, yet fabulously cute movie). They walk down the street and in the window of a shop they see the most beautiful prada boots EVER! and of course, it’s love at first sight.

I don’t believe in love at first sight, I believe in love at first hear… or even better, love at first play. if I were blind, I could still hear music.

As of right now, I’m in love with a few different songs. “Marcel” Benjamin Godard. “Fruhling” Franz Liszt. “The Entertainer”(I know) Scott Joplin. “Claire De Lune” Claude Debussey. “Moonlight” Ludwig Van Beethoven. “Leibestraum” Franz Liszt. “Three Intermezzi” Johannes Brahms… and a ton more that I can’t mention now because I can’t pull them all off the top of my head.

Right. Well, first. Marcel is a beautiful song. It’s very dark and brooding throughout most of the song, but it has lots of different patterns, and throughout the song there are traces of calm with the underlying theme from “A mighty fortress is our God” by Martin Luther. I think this is a really awesome way to use music theory and technique to show how God really is our fortress…. because frankly, it’s easier to play the parts where “A mighty fortress” Is playing beneath it. Just an odd realization that I made while playing this amazing piece. this was one of the “love at first play” songs. My sissy, Anna, played this song when she was my age, so i couldn’t exactly fall in love with it when I was 5! I had absolutely NO musical taste back then… honestly, I LIKED BARNEY! talk about bad taste.

Second song “Fruhling”. I fell in love with this song in the dead of winter. Mainly because this song is named after the spring season. I feel like this song is very aptly named. The essence and feel of spring is captured in fruhling. And yes, “Spring” from Vivaldi’s the four seasons is another of my faves(Although autumn is better). Fruhling has that slightly icy feeling at the beginning and then you feel like the music itself is blooming and growing in your very ears, and before you know it there’s this complex theme winding it’s way around you… into you. It’s very beautiful!

Third, the entertainer. it’s a classic! How can you not fall in love with the entertainer?!? It makes you want to hop out of your chair and dance a jig! This one was a love at first play. When I heard it, I wasn’t that impressed, but when I started playing it I realized just how… well written and well played it has to be to be… loved.  It’s a truly magnificent piece and it’s a great challenge to learn… which always makes things sound all the sweeter.

Claire de Lune…. Before I start I’m going to tell you that I loved this song BEFORE twilight made it famous among teenaged girls. This song is soothing! there’s a reason as to why it’s named after the moon. It sets the mood for a night star-gazing. It’s beautiful! The most amazing thing about it though(In my opinion) is that it’s a very intricate sight-read, but it sounds so simple. Part of that is the skill of the pianist, but most of it is really good writing. BRAVO Monsieur Debussey! and yes, he is french. another good thing from France!!!!

The Moonlight Sonata. Despite my hatred of Beethoven as a man, there is absolutely no way my heart can resist his music. He may be a cocky bastard, but his music is strong enough to move souls. I love the moonlight because it breaks every single steriotype I had about Sonatas/Sonatinas. I used to think that the first movement was all for springy jokey fun-ness… the second movement was merely a transition movement where there is very little melody and very little dynamic variation, and then the third movement is a giant BANG!!! The first movement of the moonlight is not light and springy and jokey. The first movement is intense. The first movement grabs your soul and tantalizes your senses just enough to hook you in. It mesmerizes you and almost puts you to sleep(In a good way). Then the second movement comes along and you feel like you’re being led down a path covered in brightly covered flowers. the brightness of the flowers represents a very distinct melody that sucks you in and ties you down. And then the third movement. oh, Gosh, the third movement. Fire, explosion, action! It’s where everything bursts into flame and it’s all fiery. It’s passion, it’s anger, it’s! it’s! all those ‘unpleasant’ feelings that crochety old ministers warn you about. This is how I know that God loves me. He gives me these amazing songs that I can freely listen to without hearing about sex and drugs and alcohol and true love, and yet still get the feeling of absolute bliss. The moonlight sonata grabs you, sucks you in, mesmerizes you, removes all the stress and pain, and then spits you out with the feeling that you’ve just been emotionally taken apart and put back together again. It’s like going to a shrink without having to pay through the teeth.

Ah, Leibestraum. Love. sighs. Leibestraum is the Romeo and Juliet of Liszt. Except without the melodrama. Do I really need to say why I love it?

“Three Intermezzi” is my favorite Brahms piece. (that’s opus 117 no. 1, if anyone wants to check it out). This song has a little lulaby in the caption right under the title. It’s like “Sleep tight my little child blah blah blah blah yada yada” the point is that it’s meant to be a lullaby. it’s so soft and cuddly… if It were an animal, it would have fluffy fur and a cute button nose, I can sense it! love at first hear. Brahms is amazing! All of his pieces are wonderful. He has a gorgeous Violin sonata… and a long line of hungarian rhapsodies(ever heard of hungarian rhapsody #5? Brahms!). His piano concertos are outstanding. I love Brahms.

I’m running out of steam, so I’m going to close with this.

When faced with the question of “deaf or blind” You should probably choose blind. Classical music will fill the eternal darkness.

Posted in For the Love of Music | 2 Comments

sick

so basically…. I’m sick.

and I’m in a pissy mood because I’m sick.

And I want to live my life as a hermit in Eastern Nebraska where cell phones don’t work… Is it wrong to just want to be alone sometimes? What a stupid question… alone-ness is BLISS!!! Even Jesus had to get away for 40 days…. and then there was the time before he died where he went to the garden alone… and he did all that other stuff without the crowd of peeps… yes, I think it’s decided. I’m going to go to eastern Nebraska to be alone when I grow up. and I’ll frequently visit northern Canada. and I’ll go to Vienna to play concerts occasionally. And I’ll marry some hot cowboy with washboard abs(and NO hick accent)… and I’ll play the piano at the Lutheran church. and I’ll teach piano to the small children. and I will be alone most of the time. It will be awesome.

I’m so bored.

I should go to bed.

i don’t want to

I’m not going to go to bed.

Good night

Posted in Girl-ness, Random Anecdotes | 2 Comments

Not Surprised

Why am I not surprised? The fears betrayed in the former post were in fact proven correct. I will admit, the night was put together well, but that was the only thing that actually worked… I came away from the night feeling like I’d just wasted an hour and a half of my life. I feel like I’m in the wrong position in the whole grand scheme of things. I’m a teacher. I like to be the one teaching things, not the one learning things… and when the teachers aren’t even half as equipped as I am, It makes this reality even more excrutiating.

Anyway. My summer is now in full swing. I got paid for babysitting today! yay! now I get to set it aside and save it. detasseling should start soon….

Amazingly, I don’t have that much to say. My life is mediocre at best right now… I don’t have any PRAISE GOD moments to share(at least that are my own to share)…. I don’t have any Rants…. I don’t have any stark realities…

Okay, well, that’s not true… but I’ve already tol ya’ll that I’m not what anyone expects, and it pisses me off when they expect me to be something that I’m not…. that’s no different.

have I ever told you how big of a fool I am? I seem to always get it wrong. I never do the right thing… I never do the wrong thing either, I just do the thing. I never use wisdom, I just act rashly… and I’m always spewing these bitternesses and discontentedness… I’m not happy. I’m not content… I’m constantly making mediocre choices. like a fenc-sitter…. a mullet-wearer… I’m kinda sick of it.

ah, there we go. Finally, something exciting to blog about.

The moral of this story is…. I have nothing to share…. almost

together in boredom(for why else would you be reading my blog?)

Grace

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Excited

I’m not going to lie, I’m really excited for Youth Group tonight. usually I’m like “do I HAVE to go?”, but tonight I’m excited… mainly because lots of new people are coming, but also because it’s senior night… and senior night also means that the seniors are almost gone. Yeah, I know, It sounds really bad, but remember back to when you were an underclassman in highschool… it SUCKS!!!! especially seniors who like to lord over you their supposed maturity and power. I’m excited. And I get to have fun while I’m at it! I get to laugh at the seniors while they try to put on a good evening and epically fail… I’m not trying to wish them bad luck or anything, but I don’t have that much faith in their working together skills. generally when you put four leaders in a group together and so “go get ‘em” it doesn’t end well… especially when there’s relationship tension already. ah, well. If I’m wrong and they pull it off, I’ll have to eat my words… that will be pleasantly unpleasant…. because I want it to go well, but I’m pretty sure it won’t.

To God be the glory, not me and mine own agenda.

Grace

Posted in Girl-ness, Relationship | 2 Comments

Business in the front, party in the back

yay for mullets!!!! To be honest, mullets are the most hideous things I’ve ever seen. honestly, if you want to look like a complete and total moron, just go everywhere naked, honestly, why go half way? No offense to you mullet sporting hotties out there, but seriously, mullets were so thirty years ago.

Now that I’ve proved my honest sincerity(I have said so four times already), I’m going to get to the real analogy. lives are like mullets… well, some lives are. you put on this wonderful facade of a life that everyone who is looking merely at the front can see. a facade that shows how serious and honest and businesslike one can be…. but beyond it all there is an ugly raggedy shock of mess that no amount of trimming can hide. yes, gentle readers of this blog, I know what you’ve been hiding underneath all those brave lies. Everyone has made mistakes at some point in their life. It’s a common human failing that is nigh-on impossible to avoid. everyone has that one vice that no matter how hard they try, they can’t get rid of it of their own power. everyone has that insane little voice inside their head that is constantly telling them to let loose and do that one thing that they have wanted to do for the longest time, but haven’t gotten the courage to do.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning licentious behaviour…. quite the opposite… did not you read the first part of this post??? the part where I said that mullets are the most hideous things ever? either my first or second year of dare 2 Share Greg steir said something that I found pretty profound. “If you’re not going to give God all you’ve got, then why even try? Go for it! Go out! Get laid, get drunk!”

I look at it kind of like the army. In the army you have to have a specific hair cut… Am I right? of course I’m right. With God you also have to have a specific hair cut… a.k.a. NO MULLETS ALOUD!!!!!! If you’re gonna break the rules and have your hair long in the back and short in the front…. well, why look like a complete and utter nimrod just for the sake of breaking the rules? You’ve already broken the rules, why not have a haircut that actually looks GOOD? I’m not saying that I like long hair or people that go all out, but I find that I respect those people more then I do the mullet types. honestly, since when do we respect people for sitting on the fence? Are you with God or not?

I’m  not going to lie, I’m a frequent fence sitter, mullet wearer, half-way goer… I don’t like change… and when God or fashion maves forward, I’m reluctant to follow…. and the result is usually my mask moves forward without me and I”m left hideously exposed… Exposed for what I truly am. I’m not going to spill all of my epic failings, because frankly, I’m not in the mood for crying, but I will tell you that it’s the times that we feel so secure behind our masks that we’re most likely to fall on our butts. The rediculous part is when you completely ignore God(the business side) and are all party…. and then when the back of your mullet gets chopped off by a weed-whacker we find ourselves screaming “God!!! God!!!! Where are you God!!!!!”. I admit, I did this recently. I was living for myself, I fell on my butt, I blamed God for leaving me… and now I realize just how much of a fool I’ve been. Yes, gentle reader, we are all utterly foolish. Because no matter how hard we try to please ourselves, it will always land us right where we started…. in a big heap of crap. Don’t get discouraged though! There is a bright side to this… God is willing to give us a free hair-cut. all we have to do is get over the phantom pains of our missing locks.

God be the solution.

690 words from the teenage mind.

Grace

Posted in Girl-ness, Religion | 1 Comment

iPod touch

It’s official. I’m not getting an ipod. These things are stupid. Btw, I’m currently on my cousin’s iPod touch. I’m really frustrated by it’s inability to access wordpress on the Internet. I swear I spent 20 minutes typing in the wrong password. Annoying!!!!! Okay, well, it’s official. I’m way going with the latest zune. It has way more music space, and an actual analog stick thing. Way easier to navigate. And 60 timesthe space. Hooray!!!!! Zune all the way!!! Over and out.

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