memory unloading.

I have a memory that I really need to get out. Aiight, Summer 2007 my church went to Access in KC. It was a lot of fun for the first half of the week. The sessions were pretty intense though. Reggie dabs was one of the speakers there. He started talking about getting rid of the past and starting fresh. He really stressed who we serve. I don’t know why that totally hit my heart but it did. There’s something about a 900 teenagers screaming “Jesus” over and over again that just breakes my heart. I broke down in tears and kept on thinking “If only someone would give me a hug, if only someone would give me a hug”. I prayed and told God that I would really love a hug if he could just give me one. Dabs then encouraged us to take whatever is in our past, pack it into a snow ball and throw it as hard as we can. At this point in my life I wasn’t anorexic anymore, but I still identified myself as anorexic. I ate food, but I still thought of myself as anorexic… very demoralising. Well, anyway, I was sobbing over the whole thousand voices screaming Jesus when he told us to get rid of what is holding us back in our past. Tears pouring down my face, I walked up to the front along with dozens of other teenagers and packed anorexia into a very tight ball…. and threw it as far as the east is from the west. I felt so free. tears of relief and happiness were also flooding down my face, my body was shaking at the nearness of God, because I threw my problem physically, but God threw it spiritually… I was on my way back to my seat when a perfect stranger reached out and wrapped me into a hug. I just stood there for three minutes in the arms of a stranger, shaking, sobbing on their shoulder. I finally thanked them and headed back for my seat. The thank you that I gave to her was prolly the most sincere thank you I’ve ever given. She was like my own personal answer to prayer. She was my shoulder to cry on when I really needed one. She was willing to step out of her comfort zone and do something for me that even my closest friends couldn’t do. Nothing can explain why that person stepped out and gave a stranger a hug except the prompting of God. I got back to my seat and my Brother Dan wrapped me in another hug. for the remaining half hour of the service I clung to my brother and sang “there is a God who loves me. Who wraps me in his arms. and that is the place where I’m found, that’s where I belong. Take me to that place, Lord. To that secret place where I can be with you, and you can make me like you. Wrap me in your arms, wrap me in your arms, wrap me in your arms.” at the very end we sang “I am free” by the newsboys.

I just want to send out another very sincere Thank you to the stranger that gave me a hug. I cry every time I think about this memory.

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