Time

Dear Bloggasaurus,

I know this is going to be difficult for you to take,

but I’ve met someone else.

Someone who pays me lots of money for my time….

their names are

::insert place of work::

and

::insert other place of work::

Seriously, I would love to write on you all day long

and tell you how there’s no way I’m going to finish Confessions this month, or even this year!

and how my resident has prophesied 10 kids onto me.

How life is messy

and complicated

and how you’d think that killing peo- No, hold on… Sorry, that’s Starki- No, hold on… Sorry, that’s Doctor Who.

How I’m scared

and angry

and worried

and trying my hardest to be still and know that He is God.

How I’m at my breaking point.

How I’m two seconds from the blissful, terrifying release of total surrender.

Not by some magnificent feat of faith,

but by complete and utter desperation.

Complete and utter failure.

I can’t do it.

I can’t control it all.

I can’t pay for college without going into debt.

I can’t blog and work and read all at once.

I don’t have the time.

I’m sorry it has to be you first,

Dear Bloggasaurus.

We can still be friends.

I’ll still drop by sometimes.

But don’t hold your breath every week.

Or even every month.

But don’t worry about me.

God has me in the palm of His hand.

And even though I have no idea how it’s going to ever work out….

It will.

Because God rewards those who earnestly seek Him

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