You’re right, you would have been a different person had you made different choices. Some of the choices that you’ve made to get you where you are were sinful choices. I guess you could say that sin shapes us. But the amazing thing is that GOD IS SOVEREIGN EVEN OVER OUR SIN. Ultimately, HE shapes us, even IN and THROUGH our sin.

I had a similar struggle with James, beating myself up for being so stupid over him, and the like. Then finally God knocked me over the head: “Rebekah, I wasn’t surprised by anything that happened. I wasn’t watching you thinking ‘Oh, why’d you do that? Now I’m going to have to rearrange my plan for your life.’” No, in God’s sovereignty, He knew, and had already planned to use my sin to accomplish His plans for my life. Jeremiah 29:11