Basically if you cut through all the politics in order to respect someone as a man or a woman they have to be responsible. In order to respect yourself as a man or a woman you have to be responsible.

In the family the parents are responsible for the financial, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. education and support of those belonging to their family. It doesn’t really matter who is taking care of what needs between the man and the woman, that’s immaterial. What matters is that the needs are being met and the husband and wife are partners in meeting those needs.

When I go on the prowl for potential boyfriends(LOOOOOL! this is more of a hypothetical situation here.) I look for a guy who is masculine. This means that he is responsible and able to support himself as a single man. Aka doesn’t live with his parents, does his own laundry, makes wise decisions for himself, is financially responsible, holds a job, is active in his church, has a real relationship with God, etc. These things show me that if we were to end up married he would be able to support US financially and lead US spiritually. Do I want to live off of him for the rest of my life? HECK NO! Do I just want to stay home and cook and clean and take care of children? Dear God, please no. Does it mean I’m less feminine because I don’t aspire to be a mother and homemaker? Absolutely not.

Regardless of my femininity or lack there of my point is that laziness and free-loading is not acceptable in men or women. In my eyes the stereotypical trophy wife is synonymous with dead-beat wife. Not feminine. In the same way the stereotypical trophy husband is synonymous with dead-beat husband. Not masculine. Not fulfilling their duties as a man/woman(adult in general.)

There. I’m done. No more gender politics for a very long time.

As you’ve probably noticed, I feel very strongly about gender issues. In ranting about feminism and all I tend to forget these two important things…

1. You all can’t read my mind so you don’t know what I’m not saying. Well, I am in fact what some people would call a feminist. In the purest sense of the word, although I do not… and I stress DO NOT… associate myself with any of the political groups that identify themselves as feminist. I believe that with rights come responsibilities. Too often feminism, and any activism for that matter, is an excuse to get a leg-up in society. Ideologically that’s not in the description, but in practical application it leads to a lot of entitlement. This is not what I believe in.

2. In today’s postmodern society the real meaning of masculinity and femininity is skewed. There is no standard for appropriate behavior in general and as a result decency and propriety has become subjective. I understand that the majority of people who I have and will encounter do not believe what I believe. At my core I am a Christ follower. I believe that the Bible is the inerrant word of God. My political and social views are completely subjective to the objectivity of what is written in God’s word. Since God is the author of masculinity and femininity, He knows better than anyone what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman.

In light of these two points I am going to be writing a follow-up post about what it means to be masculine and feminine(this will probably be two posts, actually.) so that you, my dear reader, can better understand the true content of my last post.

I’m sorry if I’ve offended any of you, but I abhor deceitfulness of any kind. I refuse to temper my views. I appreciate all of the comments that I have gotten about gender issues and I hope to respond to any questions/concerns you may have in my following posts on this subject.

Gender roles. And how much I disagree with feminists. Because feminism is whack.

That’s right.

Feminism is whack.

Part of this was brought on by my coworker acting inappropriately to me and having this inner struggle of “do I go against my morals and report him, henceforth basically ruining his life, or do I take him out back and make sure he never has children?”…

Have no fear, dear readers, I did the adult thing and had a serious discussion with him about how he was being inappropriate. It was successful. He apologized(profusely) and the rest is history. But this brings up a fundamental problem that I have with feminists.

Feminists would rather ruin a man’s life for something he may or may not be aware that he did, than have a serious conversation about it with said man. When was the first option getting the guy fired? Why are feminists so dead set against telling a man “Hey tiger, hold your horses! You’re making me uncomfortable.”

or in my case “I’d rather you not socialize in that manner”…. not those words exactly…. at all…. but that’s the gist of it.

Sometimes as women we have to tell people how we feel. We can’t assume people can read out minds. And I would argue that a lot of the “Sexual harassment” that happens in the workplace is just people being too familiar in their joking or reading a woman’s body language wrong and thinking there’s something there that isn’t.

But feminists are the least understanding people I know. If a guy pats them on the back at work it’s “Omigod he’s sexually harassing me, I’m going to tell my manager!!!” when really he’s just a friendly guy that shows his friendship through touch. It happens, people. If it really bothers you than tell him! Don’t get him fired. Don’t do it.

Granted there is a time and a place for telling the manager and workplace sexual harassment is nothing to be taken lightly, but for pete’s sake don’t abuse it! Those poor men who communicate through touch…

Anyway I also had to write this paper on if the Beauty and the Beast(the original French novel) is sexist. My first thought was “No, it’s not. Belle is an extremely independent woman who has control of her destiny. If I had Belle’s life I would be perfectly happy and I wouldn’t feel like I was being suppressed by men at all…”

Then I thought about the men in the story.

If you haven’t read it, which I’m sure you haven’t, I’ll tell you.

They’re pansies.

They cry instead of act, they’re easily manipulated, the brothers and father let Belle go to her death. They originally think that they’ll kill the beast but the dad is like “No he’s too strong” so they’re like “Damn I guess we’re just going to have to sit at home and cry instead.”

Put blatantly… These men have no balls.

Which, if you think about pop culture these days, is a reoccurring theme when it comes to the portrayal of men. They either have no balls or they’re some kind of raging beast that only cares about sex and violence.

::bunny trail:: you wanna know who can only think about sex and violence? Women. Just watch a group of fangirls and you will hear things that no matter how hard you try, you will never forget. And women are shameless. “Oh, I’m a woman and I’m being objectified by men so it’s okay if I shamelessly lust after men. After centuries of being a possession for men to acquire it’s about time I had my fun.”

No. Just no.

::disclaimer:: when I say these things about women, I am in fact including myself in this generalization. It turns out that lust doesn’t discriminate based on gender.

Stick that in your juice box and have a snack, feminists.

But basically our culture glorifies cowardly men and condemns men who do what they feel they are obligated to do. Men tend to protect the women in their lives. For example, a marine was NJP’d for voluntary man slaughter because he literally beat to death the man who was trying to rape his sister(Not condoning murder here…) The difference between a man and a woman is that a woman when faced with the decision of fight or flight will most likely pick flight where a man will most likely pick fight. So if you have two groups in a fight the women get the heck out of dodge and the men duke it out…

It’s how we’re wired.

But feminists say “I want to fight for myself!”
Okay. It’s your funeral.

Testosterone helps with the development of big muscles. Women don’t have much testosterone. Men have a lot of it. if the man wants to break some noses to keep me safe I’m not going to complain. Break away, my friend. I’ll be over in that diner calling the police.

Anyways. Feminists throw these nasty terms around-

::tangent:: my least favorite one that I’ve heard is “Raw, black, sexual aggression(referring to Herman Cain)” Really? Racist and sexist at the same time! And you say you’re the tolerant one…

-and the result is a bunch of men who are afraid to defend themselves and their women for fear of being called a sexist pig, and a bunch of men who are afraid to ask a girl out for fear that she’ll make a fool out of him.

Basically men are becoming women. And it’s not attractive. I don’t like how society portrays men and I don’t like how men are becoming because of this portrayal.

TAKE BACK MASCULINITY!!!!

and ask her on a freaking date, you pansy.

(And people wonder why I’m still single…. well I guess we know now)

That is all. I love you all, comment with your thoughts on gender roles and how effed up our society is. Follow me on ze tweeters @totalsurrender. If you’re a man, BE A MAN! You have my support. If I were a lawyer I would stand up for your masculinity in court…. But I’m not… So I’ll just… yeah. Blog about it I guess. If you’re a woman, communicate with the men in your life. Tell them you appreciate them as men.

BYE!!!!

To set the scene, in biology class I had heard from a friend that she was going to be singing at an open mike night at a local coffee shop that night. I’d heard her hum in class and was wild with curiosity to hear her voice so I said I would go hear her sing. I took advantage of the opportunity and texted my almost sister-in-law Joanna and asked if she wanted to go with me since we’d been to the coffee shop a few times together and hadn’t spent much time together. So it all worked out and we showed up at the shop…

We ordered our coffee(The term coffee is used loosely here. It was actually a naked smoothie and cinnamon roll in my case and hot chocolate in Joanna’s.) We had been sitting for a grand total of five minutes before this old man sat at the piano and started playing loud, obnoxious music(the term music here used loosely as well). It was so loud, raucous and odious that we couldn’t really hear each other for distraction. His harsh, slurred tone diverted our attention.

He ended his first song and prefaced his next song with “I wrote this song as a response to a misunderstanding that conservatives have.” yammer yammer yammer. the song is lashing out at conservatives.

This song went through bible stories like Lazarus begging at the rich man’s gate and the rich young ruler who was told to sell all he had and give it to the poor and it jabbed at conservatives saying “How can you say ‘I don’t want to pay for your health care’ when Jesus told you to take care of the poor.”

Joanna got riled up and I rolled my eyes. This man clearly didn’t know what the bible said, given those stories in the bible were, put simply and not going too in depth, intended to show the folly of putting material things in the place of God and the gentleman(term used loosely) belting at the piano was attributing the exact opposite meaning to them.

We suffered in relative silence. For my part I didn’t know what to say. I was baffled. Is this man really demonizing conservatives(ME!) in a public place? He doesn’t know who is listening! He doesn’t know how this will go over! I just sat there with ears bleeding, hoping his fifteen minutes would end soon. 3/4 of the way through my cinnamon roll the “I don’t wanna pay for your healthcare!” song ended and he said these words.

“All due respect to the original writers of the original hymn ‘Nothing but the Blood’ but I revamped the lyrics”

Joanna and I look at each other steely eyed with jaws clenched as he begins to disrespectfully sing nothing but the blood with different lyrics. Lyrics about liberal agenda.

I lasted ten seconds before I scooped up the rest of my cinnamon roll and Joanna and I rose from our seats.

Now I don’t know who this lady was who was sitting next to us, but she was obviously in some sort of relationship with the man at the piano. She’d been glancing over at me the whole time this was happening and as resolutely headed for the door, she grabbed my arm and feebly asked if I wanted to see her Christmas craft that she was making.

Rage, most likely of the unrighteous sort, filled me and I didn’t even acknowledge her. I dumped my cinnamon roll and stormed out after Joanna. For the next ten minutes Joanna and I vented our anger at this man.

How dare he.

How DARE he!

You can sing your liberal agenda all you want, but leave the hymns alone. Leave Jesus’ blood out of it. You can blaspheme my ideology, You can blaspheme me personally, but DO NOT blaspheme even the mere thought of my Jesus.

As we saw this man and the woman who tried to grab me leave the coffee shop we went back in and resumed our conversation. Talking and relaxing as best friends are want to do. My friend Shannon showed up a bit later and we realized it’s a really small world.

When the time came for Shannon to sing she was really nervous. For her first song her voice was quiet and her music tentative. She sang a song about God’s love and how God is love.

I have never seen so many people so quiet. A peace just settled on the room and it struck me how different Shannon and that awful man are.

The atmosphere in the coffee shop when the old man was singing was rowdy, loud, chaotic. The sound of twenty people trying their hardest to continue on with life despite what they’re hearing. But when Shannon sang I was surrounded by the sound of thirty people(more people had come in between the two) holding their breath, craning their necks, trying their hardest to hear this beautiful young woman with a beautiful voice singing about the beautiful love of God. The contrast was very stark in my mind. God brings peace. He quiets the crowd. He makes you hold your breath. He makes you press pause on life and just…. rest….

He brings peace and contentment and joy in a way that no political activism, right wing or left, can.

To be continued….

“RAAAAWWWWRRRRR I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE THE NOTEBOOK!!!!!!!”

There. It’s out.

Or hearing people talk about gay rights.

“RAWWWWRRRR STOP BEING SO CONDESCENDING!!!!! I DON’T CARREEEEE!!!!!!”

Or reading a blog and someone is raging and they decide to duplicate the silent letters. Like seriously, how do you say “CARREEEEEEEE”

Let’s all just pause a bit after saying care(holding out the r a little longer than usual) to symbolize the extra silent E’s.

Or frickin’ friends getting boyfriends before you.

Politics in general…

I just can’t handle it anymore. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but my posts about politics are practically nonexistent now.. it’s because I can’t handle it. I get a angry on the inside and want to change the subject. Even in my own brain I can’t handle it. I hardly ever think about politics these days. I don’t read political articles, I don’t watch political movies, I don’t talk about it. I can’t handle it.

Also, the catholic institution. Can’t stand it. Can’t even talk about it. no. Not happening. I’m reading a biography of Martin Luther. Fills me with rage. I assume the modern catholic church isn’t as corrupt as back then but….

Now that I’ve complained(another thing that angers me…) for a whole 300 words I’m going to leave you with a good thought.

Life is messy and complicated. And you would think that killing people would make them like you, but it doesn’t… it just makes them dead.

You know the whole cliche of “They told me I could be anything, so I became….” Well in my generation there’s a lot of… what’s it called? Nihilism? Going around. Basically a lot of people think that there isn’t a point to life. Oh, you want to be a brain surgeon? Why? What’s the point?

Oh, well I want to help people.

And then comes this other group of people we like to call pessimists… they say “Oh, you can’t actually help people. You’re only one person. You can’t actually make a difference. And besides, you probably won’t make it to medical school and you probably won’t get a job and you’ll be paying off loans for the rest of your life so you won’t have any money to go change the world.” And the pessimist becomes the nihilist “What’s the point of changing the world anyway? The world is going to burn whether you try to change it or not. What’s the point?”

I’ve always thought of myself as a realist. You know, not a pessimist, one of those people who sees the world in it’s untainted state. FIRST of all, that’s the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard(I’m sorry.) To have the audacity to think that I’m the only person in the world that doesn’t peer at the world through a lens is… well…. pretentious. It’s audacious. It’s ridiculous. it’s….. INSANE! SECOND of all…. what is real? Miracles happen all the time.

AND now that I’ve called myself an idiot….

What do I really want to do with my life? I can be anything, what do I want to be?

I think it’s finally hit me that I can be anything….

This is so corny, but I’ve been so caught up in realism that I’m denying myself the opportunity to change the world. My world.

So yeah now I’m working in a place with a bunch of other people who are trying to become nurses at the same time and I see a bunch of people who have set the bar low, and I don’t want to do that. I want to have an unrealistic goal. Shoot for the stars, if you’re lucky you’ll land on the moon(yes, I switched that around. Deal with it. Idiot.)

And what’s that about being practical? To paraphrase my all-time favorite movie(and perhaps a former British prime minister?)

I’m too young to realize that some things are impossible, so I do them anyways.

The guy who said that later accomplished the impossible. Some may call you a naysayer, I call you a nihilistic pessimist. humph. minitaur out.,

The reason? (sorry for being so redundant on this here blog) I believe that Jesus is the answer to all of the world’s problems…

The author of Blue Like Jazz doesn’t necessarily believe that. He’s more of a political activist…. he buys into the separation of church and state thing. I don’t know if he intended to come across that way, but that’s what I got from it. I stopped reading because I’m tired of people trying to solve God sized problems with a band-aid. If my judgement of whatsisface is wrong, I’m sorry. That’s what I got from it though…

I’m buying a car this afternoon. pictures will be uploaded(something new for my blog! I’ve never posted a picture before!)

(I only have 15 minutes and I need to get this out. Bear with me.)

SO lately a lot of people have been hating on Ann Romney because she was a stay at home mom. They’re all saying “She’s never worked a day in her life” to go along with the idea that the Romneys are a bunch opf rich people who don’t know anything about how the real world works. Well I’m kind of sick of it. All these people saying that she’s less of a mom than a single mom who works. Whatever.

My point in bringing this up?

Money doesn’t make motherhood any easier or harder. It might mean you have more time to give to your kids, but you still have to train your kids up and instill values into them. Whether you have 24 hours to do that or 1, it doesn’t really matter. It’s hard and messy and complicated and at the end of the day you can only pray that your kids are understanding what you’re teaching. I’m a kid, I know. There were a lot of things I wish I had learned from my parents that I didn’t learn.

My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked every day from before I got up in the morning till supper time. I don’t really remember even one of my birthdays where my dad was there because he was too busy bringing home the bacon. My mom raised seven of us kids. Money might have been a bit tight at times, but we were fed, clothed, and happy. I had no idea that I grew up in a family where money was tight until LAST YEAR. I’m 18 years old, people. Money doesn’t make a difference in how good or bad a mom is. My mom is awesome because she taught me how to be a good person. Money can’t buy morals. Money can’t buy anything that actually means anything.

So I really wish people would stop hating on Ann Romney. I really do. It really frustrates me. Cuz Ann Romney for all I know is the mirror image of my mom. Not. Cool.

So you know those people…. you know the ones who take up every cause out there because they’re “outraged”…. yeah you know, the Kony people and the Trayvon people and all those other people…. yeah you know who I’m talking about…. those people annoy the crap out of me. And I think the reason why I’m not a huge Hunger Games fan is because it’s in that same vein of…. dare I say it…. Hipsterism(Is that even a word? It is now. copyright gracebug lolz)

I feel like those people are trapped in a fantasy world…. granted they probably feel the same way about me, but come on people…. There are 7 billion people in this world… the cause that you’re supporting is located halfway around the world….. And you actually think that by buying a teeshirt you can make a difference. Really. Really. (I should really consider vlogging. I feel like my tone and attitude don’t come across in text quite like it would in person…. But never mind. This may surprise you, but I’m a relatively shy person… well not shy, per say, but definitely introverted…)

I”m really distracted today.

Anyways. Back on point. I’ve been reading Blue Like Jazz because I saw they were making a movie about it and it intrigued me. hopping on a fad? Perhaps. But I’ve been reading some good things. Mainly in his second chapter labled “Problems” ooooooh ominous. Basically he talks about the one time he went protesting with his friend and how the president(George W Bush at the time) didn’t even look at them and he begins to wonder if he’s actually making a difference. Also he talks about a conversation with a friend about the state of third world countries and the question is asked “Am I capable of rape and murder?”

Which is of course a loaded question. If the answer is no, then what makes you so much better than the people who are raping and murdering in third world countries? Are you more “evolved” than them? But, on the other hand, if you answer “Yes” then you are forced to face your own depravity.

“I am the problem”

Donald Miller, the author of Blue Like Jazz, then goes on to say that every conscious person must come to a point where they stop blaming everyone else for the problems of the world and start examining their own actions. If you have a problem with hunger, then go feed the poor. If you have a problem with politics, go run for office(or vote for pete’s sake). If you have a problem with Kony, well…. I’m stumped there. Go start an orphanage. The old saying “If you want something done right, do it yourself” is very fitting in this case. And true.

Don’t buy a teeshirt, don’t share a photo on facebook, don’t tweet about it…. do something.

Which brings me to my final point.

An atheist once said that “Africa needs Jesus”. In my mind I hear lots of songs…. “Jesus is the answer for the world today. Above him there’s no other, Jesus is the way.” “Woaaaaoooohhh God be the solution. Woaooohhh we will be your hands and be your feet…”

What’s my cause? For what do I stand? Well here’s the deal. You can try and solve the world’s problems through ordinary means and you just might be successful to some extent. But water doesn’t quench the eternal thirst. Food doesn’t satisfy the eternal hunger. As long as satan reigns in man’s heart there will be war(Dee Henderson). A cure for cancer doesn’t cure the human condition.

But Jesus…. Jesus is the eternal humanitarian effort. the all encompassing humanitarian effort. the cure-all.

That’s my cause.

So I just thought I’d address something that’s been bothering me ever since it happened. And that would be the Trayvon Martin thing. I’m not going to spew my opinion on whether or not he was murdered or if it was self defense or whatever…. that’s not my area of expertise…. I don’t really HAVE an area of expertise…. but from how I see it…

Well here’s what I think.

I think that all these people that are all “It’s a hate crime! He was only killed because he was black! Bla bla bla!!!” Need to get over themselves. Seriously people. First of all, he was killed by a hispanic dude, so don’t even blame it on “white supremacy” cuz no white person was involved in the situation. Second of all, racism doesn’t just go one way. The civil rights movement was based on all men being created equal. That there was and is no difference between black and white… or hispanic or asian or etc. (Sorry if I offend you liberals out there by not using the politically correct term. It’s hard to keep track of all the names you people give human beings)

The other day I was sitting in my choir class and listening to a rather disconcerting conversation about whether or not my school is racist. All the liberals were all “OMG it’s sooooo racist here!!!” and these people were also white. and I was like hey, this isn’t right. We should ask a black person if they think that this school is racist. So I looked to my friend who was sitting next to me and for the first time in my life it hit me that some people might treat her differently because she’s from Ethiopia. well… because she’s black. Sure I noticed that she’s a different color than I am, but I noticed that like I would notice the color of someone’s hair or the color of their eyes…. She’s human and so am I…. what’s the big deal?

So I turned to her and I said “Do you think that we’re racist here?” and she said “No. Everyone is nice and they treat me like they would treat anyone.”

now I can understand why someone might think that racism would be a problem at my school considering we’re a predominantly white school. And I don’t mean anything but black, I mean white. As in European Americans…. But it’s not a problem. If there were black people at my school then I would treat them the same way as I treat anyone else. It’s not my fault I go to a predominantly white school…. And sending all the black and hispanic and etc. kids that got expelled from other schools to our school just to get our diversity numbers up doesn’t really do much for our racism problem. I don’t generally get along with the types of people who get expelled…. and if the only contact I get with minority groups is the scum of the earth…. well how will that affect my opinion of that “minority group”? Probably didn’t think of that, didn’t you.

Anyways, back to Trayvon. I feel like this whole murder thing wouldn’t even be a big news splash if he wasn’t black. How I see it, a college guy and a teenager got into a tussle and one ended up with a broken nose and one ended up dead. Worse things happen on the streets every day. As far as tragedies go, this doesn’t really top the list. So why is it a big deal? “OOOOOHHHH Racism!!!!!” hmmmm…. Well honestly, the only person who can’t see past Trayvon Martin’s skin color is you. You aren’t honoring him by pushing for an investigation, you’re pointing at his skin and saying “look a black kid was killed!”. No. A young man was killed. An even worse tragedy if you think about it.

But. Frankly I’m tired of the pointing of fingers. I long for the day when I can go and hang out with peoples of all nations and not once have the word “race” even thought of.

Oh and while I’m on the topic, who says that differences in skin color are bad? Why can’t we celebrate the differences? I am pasty white and I burn like none other. And I don’t even look that good. Black people are lucky. They have beautiful dark skin. They don’t freckle. They don’t have to worry about sunburns as much as someone like me… And here “Oh crap, Grace is pointing out their skin color.”

People. It’s just like hair color. It’s just like eye color. No freaking out when I say I wish I was blonde or I wish I had green eyes….